kevinmac81

Its official, I have ADD. I was once diagnosed with it as a freshman in college, but i really didnt believe i actually had it. I was give pills that turned out to be “party pills” and took control of my life. Sure it helped me pass thru college, only because I was on speed the whole time. But after i graduated, i took back the control i had once lost to this promoted drug addiction and told myself i can accomplish life on my own without any help from stupid drugs. it seems like ever since i have been off the pills and doind things by myself, my professional life has been spinning out of control. my personal life, however is great and couldnt be better. however how does one support their personal life if they cant make a professional living? its almost a catch 22. which do i choose, my personal life and i will never accomplish what i want professionally…or my professional life which will drastiaccly interfere with my persoanl life.

here an example…in my professinonal life i am supposed to have concentration at certain times while i work. well, i think i’m concentrating, but when there is a QA done, there is ALWAYS a mistake…even when i concentrate hard enough to tell myself i will not mess up this time, i still make a mistake. it sucks. i know i can do it better with the pills, but i really want to keep my persoanl life the way it is. this hole day thinking about this dilema, my gut has been tossing and turning and i even was at the store and used one of those blood pressure machines…for the first time in my life my blood pressure came back as higher than normal…i think it was called prehypertention. well, i wasnt really debating this all day today to make my blood pressure rise. i covered up a mistake i made a work and freaked out about it so much i guess i stressed myeself out. but i dont want to live like that. i dont want to stress myself out at work so much by coverong up my own mistakes i give myself an ulser.

if it wasnt for all that fukin tv i watched when i was growing up.

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